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Rock... paper... scissors! Fuck. I knew I shoulda gone paper. Rock paper scissors is definitely the way to go whenever something needs to be decided. Think about it. We could solve international disputes with rock-paper-scissors matches. The U.N. could change its name to RPSRUN, Rock Paper Scissors Referee Union of Nations. That would kick so much ass. Fuck treaties. You want my country to stop invading yours? Send over a diplomat, we'll go best-of-three.
We wouldn't even need guns anymore. We could get two armies, and they could roll out into the battlefield with jeans and t-shirts. Everyone would line up and face their enemies. The RPSRUN would say Rock, Paper, Scissors! And then everyone on both lines would jab their rock or paper or scissors at the person directly across from them. Then the RPSRUN would run down the lines and if you lost to the person across from you, you are "out" and you'd have to go home. If it was a tie, they stay in the line. No longer would we need to spend billions on the latest war technology. Just old school RPS.